Crossroads
Life throws us many changes at the most inopportune moments, slamming doors in our faces and just when we are willing to throw in the towel, inching open a window so the light of hope is let in, so maybe just maybe we won’t give up and persist. At what exactly I’m not too sure, but persist I shall until I find out exactly what I am persisting.
Heart don't fail me now
Its times like these when you realize what you really value in life. I can’t believe I nearly let these beautiful friendships slip away. I’ve been drifting, through everything. There’s nothing left to ground me; nothing left to define me. These plastic smiles and hollow laughter sicken me really, but pretence gets easier I guess. But now that I’ve made this decision, I hope I don’t lose heart.
Courage don't desert me
Feelings are in turmoil, I want to let go of this life, yet the pull remains. It will always be there I guess, as long as I wish for it, it will keep beckoning, against my better senses. Truth be told, I wonder what the point of life is sometimes. But now that I’ve made this decision, I hope I have the courage to pull through.
Don't turn back
It’s a decision for the best. Lies must be told just as tears must be shed, it’s all for the best, freedom comes with a price, and one I am unwilling to pay. All I know is there is penance; yet I don’t want to risk the wait. Things like these fade quickly, opportunities as such are like fading light, so easily they slip away. I guess if its meant to be, time should tell, but the wait is such torture.
Now that we're here
I’ve worked so hard just to get back to square one; the irony is such, at least I had fun. Gosh its all these rhymes without reason. There is no reason for the way I feel; I truly don’t understand my state. Everyone seems to be there, to give words of comfort, to hear me out, yet that doesn’t give me any solace. Sure they may listen, they may attempt to understand, but can they really? Do they understand what I’m going through, its not just quitting one thing it’s dropping an entire lifestyle.
People always say
I guess the best would be to suck it up and pretend everything is fine, so they don’t impose their thoughts on me anymore. Counseling isn’t any help, when there isn’t anything wrong, I doubt my reasoning or logic is one they would comprehend, they speak as though I do not regret, maybe it is because that is so, but that is besides the point. Are my words for you to analyze? People always say, exactly so, they say without putting themselves into another’s position. Speaking with a preconceived notion has upset so many, and will continue to do so. Ethnocentrism. So much for applying what we learn in school to daily life.
Life is full of choices
A wrong choice, leading to so many others, regret naturally follows of course. On the other hand if asked if I could do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Those days were some of the best in my life, yet some of the worst at the same time. To live, to love, to breathe freely. Experiences that cannot be recounted, engraved memories and a chance to live; for real. Myriad emotions take control as the heart and mind battle for control. Another choice, to follow the heart, fulfill the want or to let the mind take control, letting logic and sense prevail, in the promise of a future, a future that isn’t even promised to us.
No one ever mentions
It’s easier to gloss over the worst parts of life, easier to pretend they don’t exist. Let our hollow laughter echo in the air. Let our glassy eyes shine, the twinkle long diminished. Let us speak words with no meaning. Let us pretend, pretend in the hopes that one day all this will not be pretence. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend. It seems that’s all we do around here. No on knows why, yet we all do, following an unwritten code of conduct of sorts.
Fear
What is it we fear? What gripes our hearts, preventing us from revealing a soul so pure? Society forces us to hide, behind a hardened mask, sensitivity equated to weakness. To let go and love, love like we have never loved before and live, live like there is no tomorrow. We wander through lives, fear in our eyes, society makes us so, forcing us into a mould, and we hide ourselves, beneath layers of personality. Yet it could be something beautiful, but the world never sees it.
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Just a question: Is that fear i see in your eyes?
