My emo-ness in question has just disappeared for the day and I am left with a complete and utter high, resisting the urge to jump and scream. Today. Finally its here, an escape of the mundane-ness of my life, a jump to the past and by gods, I can't wait.


I'm freaking out about what's ahead


The boredom that settled on me has dissolved into nothing. The fact that I was resigned to the fact that I am pre-destined to nothing more than pts, tests and studying doesn't apply, just for today, I feel alive again. The lack of sleep from pulling an all-nighter is not even there and though I know I'll be out all night today I can't wait.


Open up your sleepy eyes come alive


I don't care, I couldn't care all about the overdose in pts and the fact that I have six tests coming up, just for today, freedom encapsulates me in a bubble not allowing anything else to become priority.


Your routine overdose. It doesn't mean a thing to me

Of course it isn't just the band I am freaking about, but the entire night, it's like a picture from the past, the first time Kav, Nat, Grace and I hung out. Whoa. But the band makes it all that much better.


I'm a fan
Freak me out turn me inside out

I feel disoriented. Why do I lie so easily? Ohmygosh I can’t wait. Seriously I shall go take a shower at like 10.30. Which is now.

***

Just a question: What do I wear?

Contrived self assurance

With you it's like pleasure in pain, wanting but never receiving, loving for heartbreak. With you its tears over laughter, emotion woven in words and a long, long distance. All this I have to force myself to remember, just so I won’t make the same mistake again. I need to remember.

Baby just say goodnight


I need to remember a time, when things like this didn't matter, when I didn't ache for your touch, for the taste of your lips, for your whispered sweet nothings. Release. I've loved others, yet you remain, at the back of my mind.


I'll be gone tomorrow


First love is hard to explain away. Especially now that you're back in my life, its strange how we drift in and out of each other's life. Maybe in another time, if you were in this country, if we both weren't so busy, it would work out, but right now we're better off friends.


Baby just close your eyes


I've loved you without realizing it, yet whenever you call, I know its you, instinctively, and it's great that we have so much to talk about even though it's been two years. Gosh has it been that long? I feel so old suddenly.


I can't take the sorrow


Love's a complex idea I don't understand myself, so I shan't try and explain these feelings, but you know how I feel, and it's great you feel this way too. Life's hard enough without a long distance relationship.


Baby just walk away


The idea of you with another girl kills me, I would want to rip her into shreds and claw her eyes out, just like you said you'd like to punch the living daylights out of any guy who even looked at me but sometimes things just aren't meant to be. Not right now. I wonder who I'm trying to convince, myself or you?


You know I can't stay


When you asked me today. It killed me to say no. Something in me died, but I guess it was a right choice. Maybe I'm still on rebound, its best not to risk anything, and we have our entire lives ahead of us, so why rush and ruin something beautiful?


There's no easy way to say goodbye.


So we ended that conversation, the way the song ended. The irony that it was playing in the background wasn't lost on me. Maybe it's a sign, to cut you loose, but that I wonder if I can do. You know what they say about first love, it stays with you forever. Its not really upsetting, rather it's with a tinge of remorse that I have to admit to myself that it would never work out between us, no matter how much I wish it would.

And i wonder, if goodnight would be the last words i ever say to you. Plus, The Click Five isn't all fluff.

***

Just a question: Were we ever?