I don't just want to be yet another statistic, but in death, it's exactly what I'll leave the world as. I'm sick of all this mediocrity I have subjected myself to. Haven't you ever wanted to make a difference? I'm not going to pretend that I hope to leave the world a better place or some other self sacrificial crap I could easily come up with and pass off as truth. It's a simple selfish desire to be remembered. I don't want to be some no body who doesn't leave her mark in history. I don't want to be just another face in the masses. I don't want to leave and not be missed, not just by my family, but the world itself. Isn't it extremely weird to crave fame in this completely obsessive manner? Well whatever.


My days as a social pariah are long gone, and I've become a shadow of that person really, so much so no one could ever draw a similarity between who I am now and who I used to be. I guess the point was I simply stopped caring about what other’s thought. And then the gossipmongers go into overdrive about my, oh so scandalous social life.


Let them write their wicked web of lies, I couldn't care less really. In fact it's sort of flattering to know how entertaining my so-called exploits (half of which so obscure I speculate as to how they come about) are to them. Yes I am slightly warped. Maybe I might just make it as the socialite. A wonderful ambition innit?

***

I may just be Singapore’s version of Paris Hilton.