I'm here without you baby


And it's the twinkle in your eyes when you smile, the slight crease as your eyes tilt upwards when you laugh, the way your lips curve ever so slightly to the right when you smirk that still get me.


But you're still on my lonely mind


Those comfortable silences. Those conversations about nothing at all, which go on forever. The way my heart flutters whenever I see you. The way you say my name with that slight lilt.


I think about you baby


Your insistence on saying "Ich liebe dich," instead of "I love you." The way you wrap your arms around me. Those winter nights gazing at the stars. Those candlelit dinners gazing into your eyes.


And I dream about you all the time


They were hazel, with flecks of gold when the light hits them at the right angle. Those speculations of a future together. The way you would assure me that it would never end, that this feeling would never fade.


I'm here without you baby


The first cut is the deepest. And as blood seeps out of a fresh wound let the memories flow away; away into oblivion – so someday I may be rid of you. So someday Calvin and Klein cologne won’t trigger some flashback or another.


But you're still with me in my dreams


Oh but your kisses burn so. Intangible, wisps of smoky tendrils at the very tips of my fingers and I dare not move in the fear that you’d disappear, and take away all that we had. Every memory, every feeling.


And tonight it’s only you and me


Something in me died, the day we became you and me.

***

Maybe someday.