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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Reflection.

As you can see I haven't exactly turned out the way I hoped. Or the way anybody else did for the matter. That's an understatement, really. And I'll be the first to admit it. I've managed to get out of telling you a lot of the basic stuff, the important things, by huddling inside all of my pretty, hollow Easter egg words.

I guess I've learnt to live in them. But reality the dogged door-to-door sales man has come knocking again and he's not going away anytime soon. So I know I am escaping myself when I keep referencing my life against the big screen. My life, the soap opera. I felt cozy in this little world I made for myself, in my mind.

Yet I hunger for the hues the rain has washed from that little world. I'd slip into cinema’s velvet shelter communing to the blue confusion of Jonathon Rhys Meyer’s eyes (what can I say, he is a hunk). There I could dream in the silken fog of never-never in my lonely only childhood suspended and fed by umbilical images.

But I don't dream in color anymore.

***

Who is that girl i see?

4:35 AM

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i'm that girl
your mama told you to
stay away from