I’ve always harbored a strange obsession over the rain, the sound of the raindrops pummeling against my window, the smell of damp earth all these assault my senses, pushing me to reflection, just as it always does.


The beauty of the world is better appreciated through the soft focus lens that rain provides, looking through the world through that sheet of rainwater distorts things, making things out of focus, no longer sharp. Light merges, and the water creates fuzzy outlines around streetlamps. Even mundane things sparkle with a touch of magic from the drops settled upon them.


I stared out of my window for the longest time, mesmerized by the trickles of water trailing down the glass, tracing the patterns they made with my fingers and simply reveling in the beauty of life. I can’t deny, I contemplated jumping, as I stared down at the ground from above.


Stupid as it may sound, death is a temptation. Life is beautiful, but how great it would feel, to fall, together with my beautiful raindrops, fall to death and never have a care again? To fall freely, let life flash past my eyes, let the wind rush past, just fall. And finally hit the ground, and life would flit away, leaving an empty shell.


Everything we work for, our entire lives, how we slave and toil day in and day out, everything fades away, into nothing. And we go into oblivion, oh sweet bliss. How wonderful it would be to feel nothing at all, never have a worry, or a joy. No feelings. How would it feel to feel nothing at all? Would we just disappear? Cease to exist?


My morbid affiliation to death scares me at times. Death intrigues me. There is a definite pull towards the unknown. I guess I should stop now before anyone thinks I’m suicidal. I’ll keep my musings to myself then.

***

Just a question: If i fell, would you catch me?